"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

The first time I heard those words was in 2004 when I was sitting in a movie theatre watching A Cinderella Story. I was about as inspired as a 11 year old can be, that is, I thought it was one of the most brilliant pieces of wisdom that I had ever encountered, but then proceeded to forget about it 10 minutes later when Chad Michael Murray appeared onscreen. As I passed through my childhood and early adolescence without ever really facing much rejection I filed the quote away in the back of my brain, having become relatively used to getting what I wanted. Recently, however I have been facing a fair share of rejection and I have found myself returning to this quote whenever I feel particularly discouraged.
 Here’s the thing about rejection. It sucks. Badly. No matter how many times it happens, being told you aren't good enough always feels like a stab in the gut. As previously stated, I faced a fair share of rejection in the past few months, and I find that I know this feeling all too well. While you're curled up under your Avengers blanket downing fro-yo and crying into your best friend's shoulder (definitely not speaking from experience here) it might seem like all you're ever going to hear is "I'm sorry, but *insert generic excuse here*." But there comes a point where we have to accept the fact that rejection is a part of life, and we must learn to cope with it and use it to make ourselves better instead of allowing it to crush our morale. Sometimes we're going to "strike out", but that doesn't mean we should stop playing the game.

 We've all heard the stories of how J.K Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers before someone picked up Harry Potter, or how Abraham Lincoln ran for office 8 times before being elected president, but guess what? That doesn't make it any easier to hear that you aren't good enough. Seeing that some other guy hit the ball doesn't make you any less worried that you're going to strike out. Hearing about how someone else managed to rise above rejection doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to do so yourself. So be your own success story. Hit the ball. You have to believe that even though that one person or group or board of directors couldn’t see your brilliance, someday, somebody will. Put down your fro-yo, turn off your Netflix marathon and remind yourself that rejection is a part of life. Even if it seems like your continued attempts are futile, that no matter how many times you try, the answer will always be "maybe next time" consider the fact there won't be a next time if you aren't there to create it. If you are so afraid of striking out that you never go up to bat, you're going to miss out on your chance to score a home run. (Wow I just wrote an entire blog post using a sports metaphor my brother would be so proud) 

A Bit Of Insight

A year ago today I was standing backstage at a dress rehearsal for my senior year musical when I decided it would be a good idea to check my email. Upon doing so I received some of the worst news that any college senior can receive- I was deferred from my first choice university. Now I know what some of you might be thinking. "Why is that such a big deal? Couldn't you have just chosen to go somewhere else?" What you need to understand is that because of the staggering cost of college tuition my parents required that I stayed in state for school and Michigan State is honestly the only school in Michigan that I can see myself attending. That being said, receiving my deferral notice absolutely crushed me. I felt as if my life was crumbling around me. I felt like a failure. But worst of all, I felt like I had let everyone around me down.

Looking back, being deferred SUCKED. While all of my friends were posting their admissions to various impressive schools on Facebook and Twitter, I was left struggling to build myself back up and figure out the necessary steps to ensure that I would be admitted. So, I did everything I could. I threw myself into my classes and worked harder than ever before to prove to MSU that I was worthy of a spot at their school. Long story short, my hard work kind of payed off, but not really. In late May I received word that I HAD been admitted to MSU, but not until their second semester begins in January. This meant that I was once again left out as one by one my friends packed up their bags and left for school. Although the first month or so was rough, eventually I adjusted to my alternative college experience. I registered for classes at a nearby community college, got a job at a local art theatre, and decided to focus on spending some time on myself. Now with only two months until I leave for Michigan State, I can safely say that the time really has flown by and I have learned some valuable lessons from this experience that I want to share with you.

1. College admissions aren't everything.
It sounds cliche, but there really is more to life than getting into college. High school teenagers are programmed to believe that getting into college is the only way to be successful in life. We are so wrapped up in our world of college admissions that we fail to realize that an acceptance to a university is in no way indicative of our intelligence or our worth as a human being. Although it was nice to finally be accepted to MSU come January, this experience has helped me to realize that being admitted to college isn't everything, and being rejected isn't the end of the world even if it feels like it.

2. Time will fly, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't make the most of it.
When I was informed in May that I wouldn't be heading off to college until Janurary, it felt eons away. But now as I sit here more than half way through the semester I can safely say that the time really has flown by. Life is so ridiculously short that its silly to waste it waiting for something. Although I admit to having a "Days until MSU" countdown going on my calendar, I am really trying to cherish this extra time that I get to spend at home. I'm spending more time with my parents and grandparents, and even my friends who are still in high school. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I am trying to make use of the extra time that I've been given at home and make it meaningful in some way.

and most importantly

3. Being rejected from college will not make your family and friends love you any less, and it will not make them ashamed of you. 
I am a people pleaser. I am constantly thinking about how my actions will impact the people that I love and I always strive to make them proud and do right by them. That being said, the first thing that came to mind upon hearing I was deferred was that I had let my family down. I thought of my parents having to tell their friends that their daughter was a failure, and of my little cousins thinking that I was stupid. I thought of all of my friends moving on without me and refusing to be associated with their idiot friend who couldn't even get admitted to college. Of course I could not have been more wrong. My family and friends were incredibly supportive of me throughout my deferral process. They held me while I cried, built me back up when I felt like a failure, and most importantly they never failed to remind me that I am so much more than a college admission.  To anyone reading this who supported me over the past year, I truly cannot thank you enough, I don't know how I would have done it without each and every one of you.

So yes. Being deferred is shitty, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am living proof that it won't kill you. If you are fortunate enough to have to a strong support system like I did you will get through it and maybe, just maybe, you'll find it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Remember, our lives are not shaped by the situations we are put in, but rather how we choose to respond to them. I chose to make the most of my deferral and I find that I'm happier than I have been in a very very long time.